Recently, there has been a guy in my life who has completely taken me by surprise. You see, he has demonstrated chivalry to me and the girls around me. But, he isn’t flirting. Isn’t it sad, though, that that was the first thing I have to clarify? Isn’t it sad that I am so utterly surprised and confused by it that I don’t know how to react? You see, it’s simply because acts of chivalry are so rare- as young women, we don’t get much experience on how to respond to it!
I was expressing my confusion to some friends, and one explained a similar situation and how she handled it. She said she had made sure to thank the guy. He replied, thanking her for noticing…turns out no one had ever thanked him before! How sad! So, with that in mind…
To the guys: Thank you! If you are a guy who exhibits chivalry, thank you! We girls do notice. Do not grow weary in doing good! (Galatians 6:9)
To the girls: Ladies, are you confused, like I am, on how to react to chivalrous guys? Well, let me share with y’all a few things I have learned.
- First of all, our response to chivalry should be thanks! A friend did point out, though, that we don’t want to totally embarrass the guy… don’t make it too big of a deal in front everyone. Use discretion!
- Know the difference between flirting and chivalry. We should definitely encourage the guys around us when they are chivalrous! But it’s totally okay to remove yourself from flirting.
- Don’t be afraid to accept chivalry. It feels good to be strong and capable. I can definitely understand this, especially since there was a period in my life when I was physically incapable of simply doing the dishes. I now truly take joy in carrying a heavy grocery bag or taking out the trash. And that is okay! At the same time, it’s good to keep in mind that if a guy is truly showing you chivalry, he isn’t doing it because he think you are weak or that he is superior. Our culture has ingrained into us the view that it is impossible for guys to offer us a service without him possessing this mindset. But isn’t it okay for us to be females? Isn’t it okay for him to show us honor and respect? It’s simply a gift! Nothing sinister! 🙂 Another point- just be aware. It is rarely on my radar because chivalry is difficult to find in guys around me. As a result, I don’t even think about it and quickly brush off any offer of chivalry from my dad, brother, or any guy in my life. Don’t do that! 🙂 Give them an opportunity to be gentlemen if they choose to.
So there you go! That was chivalry with Sara. 😉 A few more articles I’d suggest on chivalry are at this link. 😀 Enjoy!
Your sister in Christ,