For the Girls: Responding to Chivalry

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Recently, there has been a guy in my life who has completely taken me by surprise. You see, he has demonstrated chivalry to me and the girls around me. But, he isn’t flirting. Isn’t it sad, though, that that was the first thing I have to clarify? Isn’t it sad that I am so utterly surprised and confused by it that I don’t know how to react? You see, it’s simply because acts of chivalry are so rare- as young women, we don’t get much experience on how to respond to it!

I was expressing my confusion to some friends, and one explained a similar situation and how she handled it. She said she had made sure to thank the guy. He replied, thanking her for noticing…turns out no one had ever thanked him before! How sad! So, with that in mind…

To the guys: Thank you! If you are a guy who exhibits chivalry, thank you! We girls do notice. Do not grow weary in doing good! (Galatians 6:9)

To the girls: Ladies, are you confused, like I am, on how to react to chivalrous guys? Well, let me share with y’all a few things I have learned.

  1. First of all, our response to chivalry should be thanks! A friend did point out, though, that we don’t want to totally embarrass the guy… don’t make it too big of a deal in front everyone. Use discretion!
  2. Know the difference between flirting and chivalry. We should definitely encourage the guys around us when they are chivalrous! But it’s totally okay to remove yourself from flirting.
  3. Don’t be afraid to accept chivalry. It feels good to be strong and capable. I can definitely understand this, especially since there was a period in my life when I was physically incapable of simply doing the dishes. I now truly take joy in carrying a heavy grocery bag or taking out the trash. And that is okay! At the same time, it’s good to keep in mind that if a guy is truly showing you chivalry, he isn’t doing it because he think you are weak or that he is superior. Our culture has ingrained into us the view that it is impossible for guys to offer us a service without him possessing this mindset. But isn’t it okay for us to be females? Isn’t it okay for him to show us honor and respect? It’s simply a gift! Nothing sinister! 🙂 Another point- just be aware. It is rarely on my radar because chivalry is difficult to find in guys around me. As a result, I don’t even think about it and quickly brush off any offer of chivalry from my dad, brother, or any guy in my life. Don’t do that! 🙂 Give them an opportunity to be gentlemen if they choose to.

So there you go! That was chivalry with Sara. 😉 A few more articles I’d suggest on chivalry are at this link. 😀 Enjoy!

Your sister in Christ,

Sara

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hello, my name is Sara! I am also fifteen years old, I am a black-mold fighter, and I like to read, write, act, make jewelry, and have adventures. Most of which tend to be with my family whether it’s a long hike up a mountain or a fun new board game. I also write for Th!nk magazine, a free, online, Christian magazine: mythinkmag.wordpress.com. One of my favorite Scriptures is Psalm 34:5: “Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.”

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Great ideas here, Sara! I’ve grown up with 5 brothers so I’m a little more used to chivalry and good responses to it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Bethany Myers says:

    I agree, Sara! THIS girl NOTICES chivalry – I am so grateful to the men in my life who have (and do) treat me like a lady. And you’re right, it’s not a matter of a guy treating you with chivalry because you are weak or silly or lesser in value than men! It comes down to the “roles” thing. God knew what He was doing when He created male and female roles, and we reach the height of our purpose (and experience a fulfillment like no other) when we as ladies BE ladies, and we let the men in our lives BE men.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. kristinrenfer says:

    Great job tackling this subject, Sara! You’re right, chivalry is sorely lacking in this day and age. I read the Harris twins’ article (and series of articles) on this topic and thoroughly enjoyed them. It helped me know how to navigate these types of situations when they arise. As the oldest of three girls, I didn’t have much interaction with young men until I hit high school. So it was kind of hard getting used to having them around. 🙂

    However, now that I’m older I see the difference between chivalry and mere flirtation and wish there were more guys out there with the former. So high fives to all young men who have practice and implement Christian chivalry. And may the Lord continue to raise up more of you! And may He show us young ladies how we can help our brothers become men of humility, chivalry, and truly gentle men.

    Like

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