“It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.”
What is your view of marriage? Many young people, including the Church, view marriage as the ultimate goal in life. They think that once they get married, it’s all going to be good; life will slip into cruise control.
Just so you all know, I’m not married. Therefore, I don’t have the full picture. But as I’ve gotten older and experienced more, seen more, and read more, I’ve started to understand how skewed most young people’s view of marriage is. In fact, up until a year or so ago, mine was too! Now, just for the record, I am not saying that I have a grip on it and know all the ins and outs. Far from it. What I am saying is that for many of us, especially if you’ve grown up in the typical homeschooling family, there is a temptation to place our ultimate fulfillment and happiness in finding and marrying our future spouse.
This is a huge mistake because no matter how awesome our spouse will be (if we choose well), he or she will still be a sinful person. Guess what? Our spouse will mess up! Guess what? We will mess up! That’s just the way it goes. It’s part of our sinful nature. But there is One who is sinless and completely faithful. I’ve found that though I can have some of my emotional needs met here on earth, they will never be completely fulfilled unless I am abiding in Christ.
One more thing- how would you feel if when you got married, your spouse was depending on you to give her 100% of her desired contentment, 100% of here desired love, and 100% of her desired peace? It would drive you crazy! The same goes for us. We cannot expect that of our spouses if they can’t expect it of us. Only Christ can give you 100% of the love you desire, 100% of the contentment you desire, and 100% of the peace you desire.
And after you get married, there will be hills and valleys. There will be challenges. Life doesn’t stop going on after you get married. It just signifies the start of a new season of life.
In closing, let me say that I can’t wait to get married! In fact, I think you should be as well! From what I’ve seen and heard, a Biblical marriage is one of the best things to experience on earth. There are so many great benefits from it, and if centered on Christ, will be an enormous blessing to both people involved. The challenge is keeping the right perspective. A Biblical marriage will make your life better, but it will not fill the voids that only Christ can fill.
PS: If you or your parents are looking for some great resources regarding Christian courtship and marriage, the books “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” and “Boy Meets Girl” by Joshua Harris are outstanding. If you know of any other good ones, please write it in the “comments” section. Thanks!